The Simslops Chapter X: We Are Happy Family
April 1, 2025
(to celebrate today’s occasion and fulfill my directive of extruding literature into the world, i would like to share this wholesome take on the Simslops. please enjoy.)
The sun rises.
March wakes up.
March picks up the ball.
Original Bart wakes up.
March examines the ball. Fun for the whole family.
March pets the dog.
March intelligently chucks the ball to Original Bart. Original Bart catches March’s toss.
Homer wakes up.
April O’Neil wakes up.
Original Bart pitches the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball with a skillful dash.
April O’Neil says, “Tinkle hoy.”
April O’Neil produces a graceful hop, pitching the ball to Homer. Homer catches the ball.
Homer pitches the ball to March. March catches the ball.
Homer pets the dog.
March enacts a desperate leap, throwing the ball to Original Bart. Original Bart catches the ball with a killer dive.
Original Bart swiftly tosses the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball.
Original Bart says, “The clamor got real.”
Homer gives April O’Neil a weird look.
April O’Neil proclaims a desperate jump, throwing the ball to Homer. Homer catches the ball.
Original Bart pets the dog.
Homer gives April O’Neil a weird look.
Original Bart says, “The clamor got real.”
Homer gracefully hurls the ball to Original Bart. Original Bart catches the ball with a calculated leap.
Original Bart pets the dog.
Homer gives April O’Neil a weird look.
Original Bart pets the dog.
April O’Neil says, “Dear god, dear god…”
Original Bart enacts a sweeping jump, chucking the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches Original Bart’s hurl.
April O’Neil skillfully throws the ball to Homer. Homer catches April O’Neil’s hurl.
March pets the dog.
Homer hurls the ball to April O’Neil. The ball bashes April O’Neil’s head, breaking it.
April O’Neil hurls the ball to Original Bart. Original Bart catches the ball.
Original Bart chucks the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball.
A hailstone hits April O’Neil’s leg, injuring it.
Homer picks up a hailstone.
March winds down.
April O’Neil’s ailment heals but not much.
April O’Neil intelligently chucks the ball to March. The ball contacts March’s tungsten skull.
Homer winds March back up.
A hailstone melts. Homer’s hands are wet now.
A hailstone bashes April O’Neil’s brain, wounding it.
Original Bart picks up a hailstone.
April O’Neil says, “We’ll make it out.”
Original Bart chucks a hailstone to March. March catches a hailstone with an intelligent hop.
March produces a desperate jump, pitching a hailstone to Homer. Homer catches March’s toss.
Homer pets the dog.
April O’Neil pets the dog.
March pets the dog.
Homer chucks a hailstone to April O’Neil. A hailstone hits April O’Neil’s finger, injuring it.
March enacts an intelligent dash, pitching the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball.
Homer pets the dog.
A hailstone melts. April O’Neil’s hands are wet now.
There’s nothing on Homer’s hands.
April O’Neil’s injury feels better a little.
Original Bart pets the dog.
March winds down.
April O’Neil calculatedly tosses the ball to Original Bart. Original Bart catches the ball with an intelligent hop.
Original Bart declares a killer leap, pitching the ball to March. The ball donks off of March’s aluminum skull.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
Homer winds March back up.
March produces a graceful leap, chucking the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches March’s throw.
March winds down.
March pets the dog.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil killerly hurls the ball to March. The ball impacts March’s steel rib.
Homer winds March back up.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
March skillfully chucks the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball with a calculated dive.
April O’Neil pitches the ball to March. March catches the ball.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil pets the dog.
A hailstone impacts Original Bart’s finger, cracking it.
A hailstone contacts Original Bart’s noise, breaking it.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
Original Bart says, “I’m the family boy.”
March picks up a hailstone.
March picks up a hailstone.
March chucks the ball to Homer. Homer catches the ball with a killer leap.
Original Bart pets the dog.
March chucks a hailstone to Original Bart. Original Bart catches March’s throw.
Original Bart pets the dog.
A hailstone melts. Original Bart’s hands are wet now.
April O’Neil pets the dog.
Original Bart’s ailment heals but not much.
Original Bart’s injury feels better a little.
Homer throws the ball to April O’Neil. The ball strikes April O’Neil’s brain, wounding it. Homer laughs.
March tosses a hailstone to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches a hailstone.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
March pets the dog.
April O’Neil says, “We’ll make it out.”
A hailstone melts. April O’Neil’s hands are wet now.
The sun sets.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil pitches the ball to March. March catches April O’Neil’s throw.
March throws the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball.
April O’Neil proclaims a vicious jump, pitching the ball to March. March catches the ball with a skillful dash.
March enacts a graceful leap, tossing the ball to April O’Neil. April O’Neil catches the ball with a sweeping hop.
April O’Neil tosses the ball to Homer. Homer catches the ball with a desperate hop.
March pets the dog.
Homer calculatedly chucks the ball to March. March catches Homer’s throw.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil’s injury feels better.
March pets the dog.
Homer falls asleep.
April O’Neil pets the dog.
April O’Neil sweats nervously.
April O’Neil says, “It’ll be okay.”
Everybody go to sleep.
April O’Neil falls asleep.
March falls asleep.
Original Bart falls asleep.
Further Reading
“Clown in the Dumps couch gag”, dir. Don Hertzfeldt, 2014.
Revolutionary Girl Utena, dir. Kunihiko Ikuhara, 1997.
“Daddy’s World”, Walter Jon Williams, 1999.